Charly Whelan’s mam

Charly Whelan’s mam was a fucken whore,
her fanny big as a dustbin liner.
It would eat you up, shoes and all, then roar
through the panty lounge with air fresheners

for perfume, so Freddy Ricketts said.
She did twos up and nobody noticed.
Except for Big Dennis from Birkenhead,
who loved her pussy when he was shit faced

and home from the clink for a month of harm;
banged up for petrol bombings, racial spite.
Charly laughed his arse off and said his mam
was reeking and puking from the all-night

benders at Sinatra’s. But that was then.
Mr Right and Mrs Pong worth nowt.
Last Wednesday in the Bendix she pegged out.
Charly said she’d always be forgotten.